If a mom uses the last Q-Tip, she’s going to order a new box, right now on Amazon.
Because if she has to go all the way downstairs to write Q-Tips on her grocery list, she’s going to pass by the towels that need to be switched from the washer to the dryer.
And if she puts the towels in the dryer, she’s going to want to clean out the lint with the vacuum.
But if she goes in the closet to get the vacuum, she’s going to see that the closet is a mess.
And if she starts to organize the closet, she’s going to need some trash bags to fill with coat donations.
But if she’s making a donation pile, she might as well turnover the kids Spring clothes they’ve grown out of too.
So, she goes in her son’s room, but she finds 30 water bottles and three moldy paper plates.
When she brings those down into the kitchen, she sees the sink is full of dishes, but the dishwasher is full.
If she starts to unload the dishwasher, she will inevitably be distracted by her daughter asking for a snack.
And if she starts to make her daughter a snack, her son will want one too.
But if it’s too close to dinner time, maybe we should skip the snack and she can just start making dinner.
But if she starts making dinner now, she won’t be finished in time before they have to leave for practice.
And if she thinks about practice, she’s going to remember that her son’s practice shirt is still in the dirty clothes basket.
And if she goes to throw a load of laundry in, shes going to remember that she didn’t switch the towels over to the dryer, she didn’t vacuum out the lint vent, she didn’t organize the coat closet or turnover the kids’ spring clothes, the sink is still full of dishes and dishwasher is not emptied, she did not give her daughter a snack, nobody ate dinner, her son’s shirt is still dirty, it probably won’t be dry in time for practice and they’re going to be late.
ALL BECAUSE MOM USED THE LAST Q-TIP!
Credit to If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, written by Laura Joffe Numeroff and illustrated by Felicia Bond
My question is…at what age do you start wiping the baseboards, just because you’re already down on the ground? Like the other day, I was sitting on the toilet, saw a random bandaid wrapper on the floor and scooched my way over to it, pants still down, because technically I was already down low. Like, the thought of standing up, pulling up my pants and then having to bend back down again to get the wrapper was just too much.
Don’t you wipe down the shower head and glass door track WHILE you’re still in the shower?
If I have to drop the kids off at 7:50, you better believe I’m sitting in my car, scrolling my phone in the Post Office parking lot until it opens at 8:30. No shot I’m going home just to come back out again.
I needed stamps, and now I’m home, putting the stamps in the junk drawer, but it’s stuck because the tape dispenser is caught and the drawer is a mess. If I organize the drawer, am I going to remember to go mail that bill? Why are we still mailing bills? It’s 2024.
It’s 2024! I’m turning 39 this year. WTF. Did I schedule my next Botox appointment? Wait, the kids are so behind on their well-visits and their school keeps sending reminders that their forms are expired.
Being a mom is just one distraction after another. We start one project just to stop mid-way through and start another. We’ll finish the first one later. But now it’s later and we’re tired. And someone is hungry. And the kids have to study or be dropped off somewhere for something.
Why is there never enough time in a day? Why are the to-do lists endless? Why does my back always hurt? Where are your cleats? Did you brush your teeth? Is my husband working late again? Did I ever call my mother-in-law back? I think my friend texted me 2 days ago, did I answer her? Is someone coughing AGAIN? What time is that trampoline party on Saturday? Did we get a gift?
We all spiral sometimes. It’s ok. Best we can do is throw some refrigerated cookie dough in the oven, put on a movie so everyone will sitdown and STFU and pour a glass of wine. I mean, I don’t know if that’s the best we can do, but it’s definitely what I’m gonna do, and that’s GOOD ENOUGH. Cheers, mama.
Call your mom, say your prayers, thank a cop. XO
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